TELL YOUR STORY

Pixaby
LOST WITH NO DIRECTION

It wandered, I tried stopping it but was unable. It paced like a wounded lion. It tried to follow the rythmic pattern of a moving car.
“ Hold it back”
I can't for I am lost with no direction. Pains written all over me, sadness my daily meal. I amlost with no direction.

                          ***

Gabrielle, how are you doing and how is everything going? This was asked to just make sure she could speak up from the pain she felt. Staring at the doctor, nothing could work at the moment for she has become lost. This is a story about Gabrielle.

                    ***

“Babe, what are you up to today?"
With a light perk on the forehead, he whispered off to fend for our daily bread.
How silly of me I didn't make your lunch today.
“A fine excuse” Nonetheless I will be ok.
Patrick, said as he sipped his tea with a bread so as not to run late to office.
He kissed his wife as he rushed to grab his key. It had become a routine
She waved a goodbye and a safe journey.

                  ***

Patrick and Gabrielle have been married for ten years regardless that she couldn't birth a child, he loved her and was committed to only her. Her striking beauty and loving character made her endearing to all.
Though she was disturbed for being unable to birth children, Patrick reassurance was enough and her trust for him was unlimited. She'd defend her husband and wouldn't stand to see you hurt him. Though the family accused her of tieing down their son.

                     ***

“Pick up your call”
“What could be wrong?”
“Why is he not picking up?”

My mind failed to be at ease. It's unlike him staying out late. Something must probably be wrong. On my knees I went I hardly involve anyone in my marital issues.
I cried to Him who sees and knows all. It's already past eleven when my phone rang.

“We will like to see you report to “St. Roman's Hospital”. My heart skipped for a bit, I summoned courage to go face the issue. I took my car as I sped off like a wounded lion of course I am one

                        ***

His condition is critically worse, he's been in here for six months now, and needs to evacuate the hospital for another patient.
“Doctor Fidelis”
I am not giving up on my husband no matter what it takes, I will pay even if it means going bankrupt. It's just coma
He's definitely going to be fine”

                        ***

“What have you done to our son?
You witch, you have finally taken his life this time. It will not be well with you, you have taken away our smiles, you have tied him all to yourself”… my husband's family spat at my face and left.
I am emotionally drained. Are these not the same people that smiled with me when my husband was ok? Now, they made a mockery of me.

It's already nine months, Patrick. I am becoming bankrupt, I have sacrificed my smile so you will be ok
I am no longer me. I have washed my tears in the shower and dried it with the sun so I feel no emotions but I'm human I need the comfort of my husband, I need you around. Your smile, your promise of always being there… please come back to your wife.
I soaked myself in tears as I sat down close to him in the hospital bed. I prayed for a miracle. A lady of 25 years has become an aged lady. She has been left to feed on the bitterness of life.

                        ***

Christabel… Christabel… Christabel

Doctor! Doctor!! Doctor!!
I rushed in to call the doctor, my husband is awake, come please.

The doctors rushed in, as my husband Patrick still held onto his head and kept calling Christabel. Please save him…
I got so happy he was awake from coma.
I called his relations to come in. I had no relation to help me as they had died from a plane crash. The only surviving relation I had is my aged uncle who barely speaks.
I rushed to go prepare his favorite meal of sauce and potatoes.

                         ***

Hi babe, I prepared your favorite…

“Christabel…”

“No it's me your wife” Gabrielle said

“Where are my kids?”
“Where is my wife?”
“Who are you? Leave me alone I want to see my wife Christabel.

Babe come on you have been sick and laying here for nine months. You have been in coma. “I am your wife” I said with tears.
No you are not where is Christabel?

Doctor…
I called as he held unto his head as if he tried to recall who I was.

                       ***

The pains hit different…
We have been together doctor for ten years why can't he recall me? What kids is he talking about?? What is wrong??

He's suffering from dementia, it's a sickness of the brain and he might likely not recover from it but might recover if adequate care is given to him. He has memory loss and will take time but if you are around him it might lead to speedy recovery.

“For better, for worse
In sickness, and in health”.
I said the marriage vows again to strengthen me.

                      ***

Gabrielle… we are sorry

To hell with you all you knew about it all these well, and yet seeked to frustrate me.
Why ?
How could you? I treated you all as family even when you all hurt me so badly, I stayed with him and kept to the marriage vows and is this how I'm being rewarded?
I watched and prayed for him daily, I sat beside him in the hospital bed, holding his hands yet, I'm being treated this way how could you all do this to me?
And you mother, why didn't you tell me all about it?.

                     ***

Every single day, Patrick kept mentioning Christabel and his kids. I ignored it, cause he is suffering from memory loss not until
my mother -in-law, together with other relations walked in to the hospital and he said mother, where are my kids? Where is my wife Christabel?

It was at this moment, I felt the world spinning, I stood fixed to the ground, nothing could come out of my wide mouth. I summoned courage.

“I am your wife Patrick”
In sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, till death do us apart.” Remember, remember the promises we made at that altar, remember the smile, remember the celebration, remember when you come home daily to me with kisses, please remember…

Mom who is she? He responded
I showed him a picture of us in my phone
I showed the ring too but nothing was working.

It dawned on me that Patrick had been married to Christabel and she had three kids for him, which his family knew about yet seeked to frustrate me. Now I needed my parents and siblings to tell me I'm fine but I didn't have anyone to call my own.

It occurred to me that the fair, tall and beautiful lady that visited daily in the hospital with the children whom they said was their distant relative was the Christabel whom they had all hidden from me, the kids were all Patrick's kids. It all made sense to me now, ten years of trust, ten years of patience, of pains all gone.

Please forgive us…
The family said, yet Patrick had lost his memory and will never recover it back. He remembers being faithful to only Christabel and left me whom he is legally married to.

Gabrielle lost consciousness, and got admitted.

                      ***

Gabrielle how are you doing? I smiled as the doctor asked this time, hoping for a better day ahead. I know I have been hospitalized but, I'm still strong, I know I have lost alot but what do you want me to do. I stared at the doctor hoping to say something but nothing was forth coming.

                      ***

I am lost with no direction, I gave my all to marriage, I have no family, no friend to run to is it my aged uncle who barely speaks that I will find solace in?
Like a bird whose wings are clipped and tied,I sing.
I can seldom see through this bars of rage and hurts for I am now a mockingbird.

Christabel together with Patrick are still together with their kids. In a wheelchair, I was taken to his room as I stared at him for the last time. I watched him smile and communicate with her, not me. I wasn't in the picture anymore due to his memory loss. I don't think I'll recover as I stared at the once happy man whom I married to. Whom will never hurt me, becoming the devil that drained my happiness. I cursed the day I met you Patrick.

Like Nizar Qabbani said;
“If you want to kill somebody, conquer his heart, then leave slowly and leave them between death and madness”.

This is my ordeal I am left to choose between death and madness, I am lost with no direction.