Had a chat with some kids on the power of helping others

_{Wearing my signature Duchenne smile}
I had a long, lengthy chat with a group of young people yesterday evening. They had spotted me returning from my piano practice and offered to help carry the heavy piano. 😄

One thing led to the next and we ended up standing outside my gate, talking about supercritical issues.

One of them asked why no one seems to “like” her. She complained about applying for a significant position in school but had to step down because her opponent had more popularity and public support.

This was one of the instances. And I understood her concerns perfectly. So I did my best to advise her using my knowledge and experience as a student leader.

What this child, and many others, need to understand is the power of helping others.

Many times, I have met people who focus on themselves. It is ME-ME-ME. Always.

They tend to spend more energy on promoting their own ventures. They want their families to endorse their businesses. They want their colleagues to recommend them to others. They just want everyone else to give them what they want. They want.... Always want.

But this is not how life works.

Here's the unspoken rule

Let me be honest with you —the average person is naturally self-centred. I'm not mincing with words. They will connect with you, support you, work with you, if and only if, they find you valuable.

Let's look at a practical example
You are reading my post now because there is something about me— it could be my content, perspective, or persona—that serves your interest. The day I stop sharing something that resonates with you, the day I start writing about fast-cars, nuclear weapons or any other thing that doesn't pique your interest, I would expect that you will take a bow.

Exactly! And that is perfectly normal.

You could always reflect on the people, pages and platforms you visit daily. Does this play out there as well? Good.

My whole point in essence is that people naturally gravitate towards us based on how we make them feel. If you tend to pay attention to them, make them feel seen, help them in valuable ways, they will definitely reciprocate the gesture.

So, when people operate solely for themselves, constantly focusing on their needs alone, they end up pushing people away. You'd agree that giving the “what's-in-for-me?” energy always turns many people off.

What's the solution?

By the time we ended the conversation, I was able to help the child understand that if she wishes to stand out as a leader, in her business or other aspects of her life, then she must make an effort to offer value to people. This isn't about being manipulative. Far from it! Rather it is about building a genuine relationship that is based on mutual benefit.

For instance, she's a great mathematician and super excellent with numbers. So why not teach others maths for free or at an affordable price?

She is tech-savvy and many kids in her school have little knowledge of the computer, beside their phones. Why not organise events and invite experts to speak with them?

There is this saying that if you want people to do things for you, then you need to start doing things for them.

When you give, people get to know you, they experience your helpfulness, and subsequently begin to trust you. This explains why many successful politicians focus on public services (or at least, appear to). This is why so many people might struggle to get votes and public support when they focus majorly on their own ambitions.

Do you have a different opinion on this?

PS The kids finally got home after the rain locked us in for over three full hours. I had to drop each of them off at their homes. Nonetheless, I got to learn a lot from that chat. And I hope that you found this helpful as well.