I have just learned that September is Life Insurance Awareness Month. Now that's… that's … fuckin' fascinating, don't you think? The things I ought to be aware of ... according to some people. September also happens to be Bourbon Heritage Month. I wonder what those insurance aware people think of these bourbon interlopers? I don't think bourbon people are all that aware of Life Insurance at any particular moment. To make things more confusing it is also Be Kind To Editors & Writers Month. It can't be all three at the same time, can it? Who allocates the months out, anyway. Who ever it is, they're doing an awful job.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. September is also Classical Music Month, National Alopecia Awareness Month, Subliminal Communications Month, Women's Friendship Month, and German American Heritage Month. There is no theme here. The truth is that any schmoe group can invent themselves a megaphone and declare themselves a month. Here a partial list of those usurping September for their own nefarious purposes: National Piano Month National Food Safety Education Month One-on-One Month Subliminal Communications Month Women's Friendship Month German American Heritage Month National Guide Dog Month National Hispanic Heritage Month National Honey Month National Literacy Month National Yoga Awareness Month Is there any rhyme or reason here? I get a theme between the Germans and Hispanics, but only vaguely, very vaguely. But subliminal communications vs. literacy? Huh? Alas, the medical community is no less to blame. In fact they've run amok with the awareness months. They've blanket-bombed September. You and I will be lucky to survive into October without becoming hypochondriacs. Look what these guys did! National Atrial Fibrillation Awareness Month Chiari Malformation Awareness Month Childhood Cancer Awareness Month National Menopause Awareness Month Healthy Aging Month National ITP Awareness Month Blood Cancer Awareness Month National Cholesterol Education Month National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month National Pediculosis Prevention Month/Head Lice Prevention Month National Recovery Month National Sickle Cell Month National Traumatic Brain Injury Awareness Month Newborn Screening Awareness Month World Alzheimer’s Month Sepsis Awareness Month Pain Awareness Month Prostate Cancer Awareness Month Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Month Sexual Health Awareness Month Sports Eye Safety Month National Celiac Disease Awareness Day (Sept. 13) That's just a day, not a whole month, but still... Then there's these. No further comment necessary. Save Your Photos Month Self Improvement Month Whole Grains Month National Rice Month National Sewing Month National Italian Cheese Month National Americana Month Baby Safety Month Better Breakfast Month Fall Hat Month Little League Month Intergeneration Month International Square Dancing Month International Update Your Resume Month National Blueberry Popsicle Month National Chicken Month National Courtesy Month National Honey Month National Library Card Sign Up Month National Mortgage Professional Month National Mushroom Month National Papaya Month National Piano Month On top of that, September is National Preparedness Month. Okay, I'm prepared… for what? Then there are days craved out of all these national whateva months. September 1, Chess Day and Bacon Day. I can see fist fights already. September3, National Skyscraper Day. The 7th is National Beer Lover's Day, the 9th is National Wiener Schnitzel Day. Sept. 13, 14, and 15 are National Peanut Day, National Coloring Day and Big Whopper Liar Day, respectively. Batman Day anyone? That's on the 17th. There's World Goat Day on the 17th and 18th. I kid you not. And Punctuation Day on the 24th. I'll just mention a couple more: International Day Against DRM Sept. 18 Banned Websites Awareness Day Sept. 26 And these guys carved themselves a whole week: Deaf Dog Awareness Week September 24-30. I can picture it now: "Sit! I said Sit! S-I-T!" If you and your group want to carve out a day, week, or month for whatever cause you have, I have one word of advice. Don't. You may be up against Batman Day, and who wants to fight that!

![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQme1m7oyBr9T2GjCx67aki7HgHRsyGj3waJZECZSvFMYNT/image.png) Look for more Erotica, Science Fiction, and Fantasy at @joe.nobel Then find me on my web page at http://www.joenobel.com for …

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