![steemit_important.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbYZtmSvDgLKX3vKFiifDiLuHip9R2D5CKz6Q8k7Uj776/steemit_important.jpg) ![tomcats_sputum_weekly.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSE6D6jRmn5YyKz3LBkDT8Yi8RmDj5GpupBXvaX81vwzp/tomcats_sputum_weekly.jpg)

Author's Preamble

Dear readers, you've essentially found it - the most important Steemit post ever. Make sure that you've transfered your 0.9 BTC reading-fee to the author's Bitcoin address 1CKd3w88kdT9zCBdCaaRB9oJCEgoD3D3CT before continue with reading. Already done? Cool. You must be crazy, but thanxx, however. Not payed yet? Please read the author's preamble. Epilepsy warning: this could end with an infinite loop.

Headlines

Donald Trump's cat escaped - who has seen this [cat]? Hint: before giving it back, ask for ~~ransom~~ reward. *+++* Cryptomarkets going downwards. Charts of your collapsing altcoins will look more pleasant if you watch them headlong. *+++* Chuck Norris announced star role at next part of movie "300" - it's named "[1]". *+++* Bill Gates confirmed recently that 640 GB is enough for anyone using Windows 10. *+++* No more headlines. Everything else on the planet is [shitty] as always.

Powerball Lottery Numbers

Lucky numbers of Powerball lottery for Saturday, Dec. 23th, 2017: 8 - 15 - 21 - 44 - 47 | 11 (Author's addendum: "woe betide they'll win - authors share is 2% 5% 10%.")

The Weather

According to Donald Trump's hairstyle, strongly freshen easterly winds (according to Vladimir Putin's hair-do, sandstorm with emery polishing-effect also possible). Daylight by day, darker at night. Further outlook: daylight again next day.

Author's Summary

I know what you are thinking now. "What a big load of bullsh.t". And you're right. Because most authors here are don't get anywhere with their serious articles, I've written this one to see where it goes. Now vote this masterpiece thereby your pains can finally disappear again. Should you, against all expectations, like this written squits then also share it. Have some suggestions for the next edition? Call my editorial office at 00 7 815-TOMCAT → achievable daily except Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Sun (Monday day of rest).