Growing up with my parents in the Eastern part of Nigeria, I always detest cooking banga stew though I loved it, the entire process do make me feel really tired. It's not as if I was always trying to dodge, the truth remains that I never liked cooking it.

![IMG-20250629-WA0015.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQ2sFbC3nqqZrkbn6xKFh4SoCdGwPctDWV162kzZUqAFr/IMG-20250629-WA0015.jpg) ^{Banga in a mortar}

There were days my mom then will have to use cane on me before I could help out in the kitchen anytime they are cooking banga stew or soup, the funny part is; if they dish it out for us, I will definitely be the first person to eat but when it came to preparing it, I never felt it was my own kind of thing.

One day, my mom called me and told me of how he never liked washing clothes, she rather prefer taking then to laundry shop or paying her little siblings to help her wash clothes for her.

She said "That little act I never took as anything almost ruined my relationship with your father". She said she would've lost my father if she did not try to adjust to it, the advise felt nice but I was still adamant and I told myself I was never going to marry someone that likes banga soup or stew so that I won't have to be preparing such.

Growth happened and on my final year in the Imo State University of Nigeria, I met my husband (then boyfriend), we got talking and we were even planning of marriage, something popped on my mind one day and I asked him the food he likes most, he looked at me and told me it's Banga Stew with white rice. For a moment my heart paused and it felt I have not beaten myself up.

I loved this man, so will Iet this marriage slip because I never liked to cook Banga Stew and soup? I rushed back home the next day and I told my mom I want to learn how to make the same banga stew I never liked making, my mom was surprised and honestly till now I haven't told her why I needed to learn how to cook Banga Stew.

This man ticked all my boxes and just because I couldn't prepare Banga Stew I would've loosed him, and guess what? Today I just finished cooking Banga Stew for the family and it didn't cost me anything, I feel good cooking what hubby loves to eat the most and even my kids loves Banga both stew and soup.

![IMG-20250629-WA0014.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQtrXNft133KxyhYPVfEEbYxAcEmQsXbQV42Rncws4Dfx/IMG-20250629-WA0014.jpg) ^{A Plate of Banga stew prepared by me today}

## Lessons I Learnt

* Following elderly people's wisdom and advise will save us from a whole lot of mess in the nearest future. * I learnt to prioritize my spouse needs over my greedy self wants. * I learnt that even the meanest fox we imbibe as a lifestyle can cost us a whole lot in such a way we might live to regret it our lives. * There are sacrifices that are worth undertaking. * We should not normalize laziness as a lifestyle rather embrace responsibility when it calls.

I hereby invite @purpleidy23 and @ntyprince to participate in this contest.

@joychi102 loves you all.